Yes, I will explain anxiety in children of divorce. When divorce occurs, the break-up has obvious consequences to the child. Divorce is a big stressor and causes significant worry and anxiety in a child’s life, and will continue to impact the child in the years to come. The impact of the divorce also depends on age, parental conflict, and the changes in the child’s living arrangements. The younger the child, the more the impact the divorce has. Ongoing conflict between the parents over the broken marital relationship and custody battles only add to the child’s anxiety. The other unsettling change is the different living arrangement the child is subjected to. It may be that the child has to move to another location due to selling off the house and finding a home with lower expenses. This may involve further rupture of the child’s world by taking the child away from their friends, school, and family. The family members on the non-custodial side usually have a marked drop in connection with the child, which may be rooted in animosity surrounding the divorce, and each side of the family taking sides, with the child as the pawn in this game adults play. I don’t mean to sound alarmist, but divorce is a terrible event for a child, and can be traumatic.
To counteract the detrimental effects of divorce on a child, it is recommended that the parents place their animosities aside when they are considering their child. Sure, you have animosity towards your ex-partner, but your child has to come first, and not just pay lip-service to this. What can ease the child’s anxiety is that you and your partner can show respect to each other and constantly reassure the child and validate them. But in the end, words are not enough. Your actions need to be consistent with your words. The child needs structure, consistency, validation, and basic needs being met. Only with this can the anxiety be lifted in the child.