Hi. It’s Jenny at AnxietyBoss.com. Our question today is from Sara in Long Beach, California. How do I know when my anxiety is going towards depression?
Well, the first thing to do is to watch yourself in your daily routine. Are you behaving too fidgety in your activities? Do you fumble when you talk to others? Are you constantly nervous? Most importantly, are your spells of anxiety getting longer day-by-day?
First of all, you need to understand the difference between anxiety and depression. Anxiety is a state of being worried to an extreme, usually with the problem being quite minor in contrast. You generally have anxiety for a brief spell and return to your normal self after some time. However, depression is a prolonged state of mind, which will eventually take over your whole life. You are not under depression for brief intervals.
Another important distinction is the expression. If you are experiencing anxiety, you will be more vocal about it and others around you will sense you’re being anxious. Common examples are speaking loudly or hurriedly, stammering, trembling of hands, talking non-focused and the like. On the contrary, when you are under depression, you withdraw into your own world and cut yourself out of your surroundings. You find it increasingly difficult to interact with the people around you and start avoiding going out in public.
To know whether your anxiety is slowly turning into depression, just study your signs. Are you shirking the company of your friends and loved ones? Are you keeping quieter than before in addition to being anxious all the time? If yes, you could be already on the borderline of giving into depression.
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Hi,
They say one cannot blame others for the way one feels, but I believe I am feeling this way because of my mother.
Years ago, I paid off the mortgage of our house while I was studying full time, and working 2 jobs. I was saving for traveling expenses as I had wanted to travel for work abroad, as i didnt want to ask my dad, but my parents’ divorce made me the sole breadwinner and all my savings went into paying the mortgage. Mum was always very controlling but became more demanding and crass, and arguments ensued every day. The home atmosphere went from bearable, when Dad was there, to real unpleasant with Mum. What’s worse is that I found out that the tenants renting the cottage on our property were selling drugs. This is where most of my anxiety started. There were 2 attempted murders here; one of which was stopped by me. But Mum kept speaking in favour of these people, as if I was the outsider. One day the 1 guy actually said he told his cell mates about me; I was scared s***less! But…Mum (who now seemed to be anti-“me” in every way since Dad left) wouldn’t give me power of attorney to get them evicted …because “they are family”, she kept saying. Nevermind, ” who am I?” But these people were committing crime on the property that could have landed either me or her behind bars (for not reporting it), or dead, but she wouldn’t listen. Time after time, in situations big or small, Mum always put others before me, even going against good sense, safety or even simple day to day things. But this drug-selling tenant situation caused a big rift between her and I; I was scared, too, that we had nobody to help us: family and religious leaders in our community, refused when i approached them, can you believe it? I lived like this for about 5 years- and I still sleep with the light on and I cannot sleep a wink when I am here alone. Well, they moved eventually, after I exhausted every legal avenue, but not before laying charges against me, saying I abused them. The case was dismissed, of course, but I felt horribly betrayed by Mum for everything I had to endure. Next, she apologized and we agreed to be a unified family, only weeks later for mum to get new tenants into the cottage I paid to have fixed up. They, too, were relatives; once again I had no say in the matter. Once again, I was treated as the outsider and Mum allowed them to do as they pleased: they hardly paid rent, and all while I had to foot all the property bills and Mum’s same sing-song was….”They’re family; why dont you just leave them alone and keep the peace.” Peace, for whom??? Funny, I did leave them, but they kept harassing me to a point that I left. Why was I staying with Mum anyway? She is old, going on 80 and cannot live by herself. My community is very traditional and we take care of our parents this way. At each turn in my life, Mum wanted me to make sacrifices for the sake of her good name with others, but I was never allowed my rights, only to keep quiet, do as I’m told, spend my money and stand alone. I used to be a go-getter, social butterfly, and positive all the time. Now it’s as if I can’t laugh, I don’t sleep well, I almost never go out and I don’t make attempts to socialize or work.(living off my savings). And my job is so enjoyable and fulfilling, but I just dont feel motivated to work at all. No friends, no family…
I feel as if I cannot trust people and it’s as if I fear taking a risk in life, and other fears, too, like fear for my life has now, too, surfaced. Things as simple as watching a movie, or walking on the beach is not enjoyable anymore and even if speaking to people, it’s like I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say? I feel as if I am waiting to die…for whenever that is….l am not suicidal, but feel as though I have lost my sense of “me” and my send of purpose….like a real lost soul.
You have given so much of yourself to others, to the point where you are stressed and depressed. It’s time to start taking care of yourself. You may have depression now, and you need to see your doctor or a therapist. Depression is treatable, and your life will change course once the depression is lifted.