If your wife is stressed out, this should cue you in that you need to help and support your wife when she is in distress. If you really want to help her, then you should focus on her, not on you, and be as helpful as you can, even if she is letting you have it. You could be part of the problem, so now it is time to be part of the solution. Maybe you should take some time off from work, and see what she needs help with at home. Listen to her and hear her out- avoid blaming her. If you continue to have conflict, then a couples therapist may be needed.