I get so anxious that I experience performance anxiety and am unable to get erect

Hi. It’s Jenny at AnxietyBoss.com. Our question today comes to us from George in Columbus, Ohio. I get so anxious that I experience performance anxiety and am unable to get erect. I have no problem masturbating, but cannot maintain an erection within the company of a female. I am only 20. Should I be taking Viagra or look into anxiety medications?

This may actually be a good thing. It can indicate that you care about your partner’s feelings and experience with you. She is not just an object for you to gratify yourself on. I know it’s easy to say this and hard to do it, but just try to relax. Consider alternative forms of sensual intimacy to intercourse such as touching, massage, and cuddling. Take things slow in a relationship. A great deal of social pressure is put on young people to have as much sex as possible, and if you don’t, you better say you do or you may be subjected to ridicule or pity. This can lead young people to some bad decisions.

Another possibility to consider is your body is telling you that you’re not ready to have sex yet. Generally speaking, Viagra is not prescribed to help the young men in their early 20s. Viagra is a vasodilator. It widens the blood vessels so that more blood can flow into the penis and it can become engorged. It is used for typically older men who are more likely to experience erection problems due to age related changes in their circulatory system.

If you can get erect while masturbating, that is an indicator of normal function. Anxiety meds can actually worsen performance. In many cases, performance problems in healthy young men need to be evaluated by a physician just to make certain that there are no physical reasons for it. Once this has been ruled out, learning how to relax with a partner will be essential. This has to do with comfort with your own body, attraction to your partner, self-confidence, and communication with a caring partner who is not going to pressure you or worst of all, ridicule you for your performance problems.