Hi. It’s Jenny at AnxietyBoss.com. Our question today comes to us from Christopher in St. Paul. Whenever I’m physically intimate or suspect that intimacy is eminent, I tremble uncontrollably. I also get extremely awkward and self-conscious about this. Is there a quick fix or even a name for this? Would drinking alcohol beforehand be a good idea?
Absolutely, definitely, and unequivocally “no”. Alcohol should never be used as a tranquilizer. This can rapidly lead to dependence which will bring countless problems into your life. Another consideration is that alcohol can impair sexual performance anyway, and it dulls the senses, so that sex is less enjoyable.
Sex under the influence can also lead to very regrettable situations. Here’s a joke for you. What do you call a drunk young man who has sex without a condom? Dad. I think you can guess what you call a drunk young woman who has sex without protection. Mom.
What you are describing is generally referred to as adrenal overload. Trembling reflects excitement, which is part of the enjoyment of intimacy. The tremors are due to a release of adrenaline, which is a hormone released under stress or a perceived threat to prepare the body to respond. Adrenaline causes increased muscle contractions and tension, which can be expressed as tremors.
As far as other quick fixes for anxiety, there may not be any. Anxiety around intimacy has a great deal to do with body image and comfort with your body, as well as comfort with sex and your sexuality, self-confidence, and your readiness for intimacy.